Considering my options

I see no way around it. I’m sacking my current gender therapist. He’s broken my trust and frankly I don’t think I even want him to try and repair it.

What’s worse, I don’t feel I can trust anyone at the gender clinic where he works anymore. I know this is irrational, but it feels like he’s contaminated the entire team with his unprofessional behavior. Call me paranoid if you must, but rational went right out of the window there.

I spent five months trying to convince a prejudiced fool that my gender dysphoria is genuine and now I have to start all over again. That sucks, but I’m not gonna let this get me down. I’ve been scouring the internet for other options and found out there’s still a lot I can do.

The good news is, a friendly therapist offered to write my T-letter. So that’s that taken care of. However, I’m not entirely sure that will get me on T here. It all depends on whether or not the health professionals here are willing to accept a letter from an overseas therapist. I keep my fingers crossed. And my toes too.

There’s one other gender clinic in my country, but I cannot go there unless I move north, which is not gonna happen. I cannot live there. The terrain in the northern provinces really depresses me, so that’s not an option.

Having said that, there’s two psychological practices in my country that work with transgenders and from what I read so far, I think I prefer their approach over the approach of the gender clinics. If only I’d known about these practices a year ago. I might have been on T already.

Then there’s the possibility of my own GP prescribing T. This is not how it’s usually done here, but it is a possibility. If my GP is so inclined. With my T-letter I might well be able to convince her to do this. I’ll be seeing her tomorrow, so we’ll see how it goes.

This is really my preferred option. I’m sick and tired of waiting. I want my voice to deepen, I want facial hair, I want my body to look more masculine. And I can’t wait for it to happen. I hate when people call me ma’am.

Now, if my GP won’t cooperate, there’s a real possibility to order T from an online pharmacy abroad, after an online consult with a medical doctor abroad. There’s nothing illegal about that. I am free to obtain my medical care from abroad if I choose so. But if I go this route, my medical insurance won’t cover the costs, and I’m not exactly wealthy, so I’d have to really start pinching pennies then.

As a last resort, I could also just order T from any odd webshop dealing in steroids, but that’s risky business. And probably not entirely legal either, so I’d really rather not have to do that.

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7 Responses to Considering my options

  1. Kris says:

    Crossing fingers and toes here as well, Liam. Whatever you do, just be safe. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jamie Ray says:

    I think you have a good case to file a complaint against the gender therapist; it is a tough call on whether to work within the existing system or outside of it and whether to give the gender clinic one more try.

    I’m no expert, but with all of your other medical issues you probably want an endocrinologist to follow you and look at your blood work. You don’t want to go through the black market; better to find someone who will work with you locally, even if it is a financial stretch.

    Good luck with your GP.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks.

      Yes, I think I do have a good case to file a complaint, but I’m not sure that I should do it. Complaining is gonna take time and energy I don’t really have, and the outcome would still be unsure anyway.

      Good thinking, about the endocrinologist. My GP is not happy about how things have turned out and will not prescribe T. She says she’s not willing to take the risks involved as she knows too little about it. She will refer me to an endocrinologist though, once I’ve found one who will work with me.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Dexxy says:

    Sorry to hear things got so bad Liam. All the best with the Gp. Please let us know what happens. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. JAX says:

    Well I’m happy that you are being referred to an endocrinologist. I’m sad for you about all the hoops you have been jumping through. I know that my fiancé filed a complaint about one of the transgender clinics over here which he ended up filing through his insurance. It turned out “easier” to report it to his insurance since he requested to switch clinics. I say easier, but I’m not sure re-telling the situation made him feel comfortable, but he did and he had an amazing response where the clinic had to redo their training on everything trans

    Liked by 1 person

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