Yesterday I had another appointment with my gender therapist. The new one. The one I really like and feel comfortable with. And yet, if I were completely honest with myself, I had to admit that I didn’t want to go see her. Didn’t want to talk to her.
It wasn’t about her. I knew that. It was about me. It was not that I didn’t want to talk to her, but rather that I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Didn’t really want to see anyone at all. And certainly didn’t look forward to the five hours of travel back and forth.
Frankly, I’m so worn out, I really don’t want anything. A day spent in total isolation sounds like heaven right now. But that’s not gonna happen anytime soon, because it’s September.
The summer hols are over and my children are back to school. That is, DD-21 is back to school, and the 16-year old and I are trying our darnedest getting back into gear for another year of homeschooling. It’s tough.
Last year was a year filled with rehab stuff, getting used to the Ehlers-Danlos, figuring out how best to live with our physical limitations without totally ruining our bodies. That didn’t exactly leave much time for other pursuits. But rehab is over now, and things need to get back to normal.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do in the way of home educating my youngest. She’s not one for bookish learning. She needs to engage all her senses in her learning. And she needs to learn how to take care of herself, as in, being able to live on her own.
With that in mind, I decided I’d concentrate our efforts in that direction. Home Management (including Pet Care), Food and Nutrition, Home Maintenance, Urban Gardening, Consumer Maths.
Then there’s the things she absolutely wants to do, no matter what: Judo, Ju-jitsu and Drama Class. Playing the piano and the violin. Drawing.
And last but not least, she also needs to take some academic classes: English, Dutch, Italian, Psychology, and Art History.
I’m well aware that this is not your average high school program, but this one is tailored to her needs, so it’s best for her. And that’s ultimately what home education is all about: Providing your children with the education best suited to their needs.
I won’t lie to you. It’s hard on me this time around. I crave time to myself. Personal space, and right now I’m hardly getting any. I feel like I can barely breathe.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love my family, and I love home educating my children (or now just the youngest), and wouldn’t want it any different, but that doesn’t change the fact that right now, it’s hard. It’s OK though. I know this is only temporary. Only the time it takes for us to get used to our being back in “school”.
Once we get settled into a routine, things will be easier again. Then I will be having enough me-time once more. Time to spend with just my own thoughts. That’s not a luxury, but something I need. It’s how I refuel.